January 8th, 2007
This one could be anyone in the night. This mortal could be your friend, an acquaintance, yes, even you. Careful darling, in the deeds you do, you may find me around a corner some night.
I walked along the road quietly. The water lapped and lulled against the stone, not far from me. It seemed to reach my immortal ears, even without registering its presence. My thoughts were not on the water, they were on the one who walked ahead. Like a cat in pursuit of its mouse, I let him have his space, his feeling of being free to go where he will. Little did he know, he was my game. You think this hunger is so easily dampened down, in one so young as I? No, I fight with it endlessly at times.
One minute I am Sybelle the charming. Sybelle Armand’s angel. Darling sister. Caring, and full of joy. Even Sybelle the mad, when my fingers pound out what I cannot speak. In the next moment though, a haze seems to settle over me. A haze of hunger that beats its drums that even my piano cannot match. It sucks me in, until I can no longer feel the side of me that existed before the hunger. The hunger to appease my thirst of blood. It is like a second me, pouring forth and leaping to be unleashed.
I become, truly, a product of what I was made then. I was made for this hunt. Yet, it takes all my will, what little is left in me, to be so patient on the prowl. As he walked further, I felt my need grow. It pulsed through me with each step. I could hear his heart beating so clearly. Come, drink me now, you know you want to. My eyes slit into cat like shades, and I knew this as the drunk looked at me from his position my the trash can. He could have been my Hors d'oeuvres before the meal. Just enough to appease my appetite for the game. I passed him by. There is nothing like fulfilling the end of what you start.
Slowly, I shortened our distance. I watched him pull a cigarette out of his pocket and light it. I felt his blood shift quicker through his heart. I heard it, every drop. He flicked the cigarette out in the water and headed for the dock that held his human cargo. Human cargo he paid dearly for. His blood and sweat poured into his very job. Yes, his blood I thought, reading his mind. My blood.
A simple shift brought me a few feet ahead of him, and directly in his path. He checked his step in mid-stride, looking at me from head to toe. Yes, I supposed I must have looked good to him at first glance. My hair hung loose, blowing with the wind. I had on the pendant that Bianca and I had purchased a matching set of. I even wore the shirt I had bought, but instead of pants I wore a skirt. Short tight, and ending where my leather boots began. Right down to the spikes that dug into the concrete.
I had intended to be clubbing this night, picking my game from the faces that shift and swirl to the music, but instead my hunger had taken me elsewhere, leading me to this one. His mind seemed to catch up with his eyes. Oh yes, I was just a little bit on the pale side. And no, those can’t be fangs can they? Amused, I stood reading his every thought. Right up until that point he wanted to run from me. His foot in mid motion, the first step he would take in his illusion of freedom. I brought him plummeting to the ground while I purred and crooned how good it would be to drink him up.
I whispered to him, my hand firmly holding him down, as my teeth finally closed upon that one place I wanted. They sank in quickly and I even crooned, searching his mind and settling him, so that his yelling would end. And now I didn’t care if he yelled. Not really, when the blood came up and over my tongue. When it rushed forward, slid across and hit the roof of my mouth. When it slid down my throat, all nice and full, warm delicious soothing that it was.
Every part of me seemed to come unleashed then, and not one single part of what was inside me did not tingle and thank me for this. Except…my mind. When I bonded my thoughts with his, viewing his whole life. Viewing, through his eyes, those ones that didn’t deserve the grief that would come of his disappearance. No matter what his deeds, and darling, they are certainly great, I cannot shake what happens when I see such as this. The animals within me may cry out all it wants, but the lucid side of me know exactly what I get in my hunt. Somehow, I make peace in knowing what I do.
It could come when I dumped his body over the side into the water. It could come on my long walk home. It could come when I played out his soul into the very music my piano serenades into the room. But I know, when Armand comes then, and gently hugs me in my shadow of thoughts and wanting to cry, when I see Benji drift into the room and hear his playful voice damning all girls and their crying. Then, and only then, do I know why I can get through it all. To be with them forever, that is the price I pay. And this night, and the next one, it could be you. Are you evil?
raises a brow
December 23rd, 2006
Immersed in the spa as we were, there was nothing but comfort to be felt. The mortals, who came to check on us, quickly left us alone once more. It was too easy to make them see us as any other mortal. Too easy to tell their minds that we enjoyed our time alone. I lay on my stomach, conversing with Bianca who lay opposite on a matching table. The towels covered us from shoulder blades, to just below our rears. But for the towels, we were without apparel. I had never felt so relaxed. Well, perhaps I had, I thought to myself with a smile. My legs lifted, kicking in a completely mortal gesture.
“Should we have our hair done as well?”
“Might as well, it couldn’t hurt.”
I chuckled as she grimaced and pulled her hair around to look at it.
“You have lovely hair Bianca.”
“And you, dear one, have gone blind. Oh dear, what will Armand say to me about this.”
She posed in a mock gesture of concern. I giggled uncontrollably then. She was such a character. Her words reminded me of Marius at times like this. Especially, when she called me dear one. She did this so involuntarily, yet naturally. My eyes fastened once more on her long hair. Parts of it shone like honey. She shifted, pushing it back across her shoulder. It really was pretty, with its preternatural sheen.
“Now, what shall we wear?”
“To a rock concert? What else, but leather?”
I made a noise of approval, remembering the tight leather pants we had both purchased. Along with those, two equally perfect pair of leather boots. Even Lestat would appreciate the ruffled shirts we had found, with subtle embroidery about the bell shaped cuffs.
“I will finally have a chance to wear that pendant, as will you,” I said excitedly.
We had purchased two long rope like gold chains. They were very thin, and on the end of each, hung a pendant of amber, shaped into a sort of cameo. They would rest just in the center of our cleavage, where the shirts came together. She grinned.
“And we cannot forget the earrings either.”
“No, we mustn’t.”
Her legs shifted, lifting, and seeming to mimic mine. We were silent then, for there was no need to talk. Our bond showed in that we could drift in and out of conversation at will.
“What a picture we will make.”
I slid my gaze from her long oil covered calf to her face. We shared a smile.
“Perhaps we will meet the band.”
We both chuckled.
“Perhaps we should not, they do play so very well.”
Our chuckles became laughter, tinkling its own music into the room.
I glanced at the mortal in the doorway. He was smiling at us. I am sure we presented a pleasurable picture of decadence at its leisure.
“Of course,” Bianca answered to us both.
I smiled to myself once more and closed my eyes, resting my cheek upon the towel-covered table. I heard the door click and opened my eyes. Bianca was up; the towel wrapped firmly and snug into the crease of her arm, so that it wouldn’t fall. I watched as she poured the Champaign out into a nearby plant.
“They have never had it so good.”
I spoke of the plant. Her shoulders shook with laughter. Mine followed suit.
“They’ll be drooping by tomorrow.”
“Yes, hung over, the poor dears.” I said, remembering.
I smile now, remembering our darling plants that I had managed to purchase from the hotel.
December 3rd, 2006
In wandering far, I yearned for home once more.
Bianca had left me to roam this night. It was a good thing, as I wanted to visit a place that I had been meaning to see for some time. It was not very far, in the immortal sense of distance and our ability to go there so quickly. I stood looking up at the building on Yaroslaviv, admiring the craftsmanship of the intricate designs. The male and female shape and molding, wrapping around, pushing outward, and pulling back in. All at once, I stood thinking of the fairy tale castles that I had seen in children’s books. This could have been a castle, this ordinary building turned into a work of art. It was a work of art. The people in this country must have been born with such things inside, ready to pour forth and bewitch the eyes. I moved on, thinking once more to myself. I smiled at the memory of the building that looked like a hat. I had seen an old painting once, where a man wore a hat just so. Rounded, with a spike on the top. Did this symbolize royalty? I did not know. He did not speak of this place to me. I had been slightly startled by the statue of a cat in my evening jaunt. I stood for some time, watching its eyes roam about within the stone. Once more, I walked on. The streets were mazes to me, and I wished to find the water at the edge of the city. I studied the dome topped buildings with crosses. St. Sofia. The plastered walls were almost translucent, and there were faded images of the saints. I studied the stairwell that led to the choir, and the many paintings on the walls that lined it. The lettering that slid along the arch where the virgin held up her hands. But this was not where I wanted to be, and I had taken my time about going there. I slid out of the church, raising the hood of my cloak, and headed for the monastery. The sight of its perfume bottle tops took my breath away. I closed my thoughts, moving forward. When I was through seeing it all, through my eyes, through their eyes in the places I could not reach, I sat beneath a tree. Finally, I stood, meaning to find the water. I looked at its dark color in the night. Perhaps I even wished to see it blue. But it was enough to be here. I bent, running my hand beneath the wet surface, and let it slide through my hand as it rose. And there, I said a prayer of thanks, to the men on the water who had taken my beloved that time. The one I had seen within my mind. Would he have understood my thanks then? Perhaps not, but Benji would have. And suddenly I wanted him here to see this with me. I decided then to return to the hotel in Berlin. Bianca was there when I returned. She understood my need for silence at a time like this. I lay with her on the bed, her hand stroking my hair. I knew that we had planned to see the city together, but I had felt the need to be alone when seeing it for the first time. “We will see it together next time,” she said silently to me. I nodded, thankful in her understanding.
November 24th, 2006
You are The Empress
Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.
The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.
The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
November 19th, 2006
Though some of my posts may be in random order, I did promise to keep you all informed of our trip. Smile
Bianca and I have had the best of times on this trip so far. Our first evening was spent roaming the streets at night. Orienting ourselves with our new hunting grounds. Well not so new for her, but for me a completely new scene. The bellboy was a darling little mortal who wore a red cap. Just like in the movies. I thought red caps were non-existent these days. I smiled at Bianca, and she smiled back. I know we had shared the same thought. He mesmerized me, as everything else that had caught my eyes in this city. I thought about the tall building that looked like a baby’s rattle, sitting next to a bottle, and further on, a bunch of toy buildings. Their little lights shining off the nearby water, as the plane flew over.
“Madam, Madam. ”
My attention returned to the bellboy.
“Alexander, has your luggage. If you follow me, I will show you to your room.”
I listened to his accented English. Enjoying the pronunciation of Alexander from his tongue. Bianca nodded, speaking to him and we followed. The hotel had a style of its own, unlike the airport. I thought about its glass dome, with many squares. A setting of a web, and its concrete innards, giving the impression of a spider sitting in the center. Clashing in its form, but the colors of white and blue. I grinned, thinking of Santiago. The spider in his web. I put the memory of our parting into the back of my mind, pausing only on that last glittering grin of his. Shaking my head with a smile, I put him away from my thoughts.
Bianca and I went out this evening. Our arrival at a little club called Big Eden, a big red sign outside having pointed the way, went mostly unnoticed. Lights flashed off the mirrors, as we made our way through the crowd to comfortable cushioned seats. I smiled, leaning in to whisper to her. I did not need to, but felt the need to blend in with the mortal scene tonight. She grinned back at me.
It was not long, before we were joined by two male mortals. One tall and dark, the other slender and red headed. They smiled, asking us where we were from. The minute I said hello, the question was forgotten. Instead, they took their seats about us, Bianca having invited them to. My hand brushed Bianca’s under the table. Her imperceptible nod telling me that she had felt and knew it also.
Slavery. The words blared out from them, almost overpowering the music from the speakers not far from where we sat. These two, they dealt in the human slave trade. And we two, to them, looked perfect candidates for such trade. My mind reeled with their thoughts. Or perhaps I had not thought to come by such things so soon in the night. Nonetheless, my smile widened, barely concealing my teeth. And so did hers.
My mind did their calculations as we later danced on the floor. These two were not so drunk, like the many people I had run across in clubs before. But we did not have all night to play. I glanced over to Bianca, who was dancing with the red haired one. Her arms sliding down his chest, as her body twisted slowly to the pulsing music. I could have stood there all evening, watching her dance like this. She looked up for a brief moment, smiled to me, nodded slowly. Yes, I have read your thoughts. Turning my head back to the dark one, I glanced into his glittering eyes. All the more enticing for my knowing his thoughts. No darling, no amount of drinks would intoxicate this immortal woman. I purposely stumbled just a bit. His arms caught me. His face leaning in closer.
“Perhaps we had better go out for some air, yes?”
I nodded to him, trying not to grin. I knew Bianca would be all right. I could read it from her. She was not long from her game also.
The ground was a little rough, grazing my knees as I slid over him. He was pinned. Surely surprised that such a “little” female as myself had taken him by surprise. I grinned, showing him my teeth. Fear leaped into his eyes, right before I went for his throat. He had no chance to say anything. His blood slid over my tongue, warming me. His thoughts swirled through my head. I closed them off, listening to the music of his beating heart. Yes, all of it. All of your dirty little deeds, right into my soul. I lay on him. My world spinning a bit. Surely I had not drank after his heart stopped. My brows knitted. What was wrong with me? My mind swirled.
Bianca’s voice swam to me in this haze. I moved my head, across the cold mortal’s chest. She swam before my eyes. Her little matching purse, the one from the store we had shopped at, went up to her mouth. I heard laughter spill from her. The rest of the night was a blur, spent in random laughter, spinning away.
Later, I learned, I had become drunk. I laugh now, thinking about it.
November 11th, 2006
The limo waited for me by the road. I kissed Benji on the cheek.
“Don’t get into too much trouble while I am gone,” I told him.
He grinned, which always meant that he would do as he dang well pleases. Especially, since no one was around to stop him. Armand and Daniel were in Paris now. I had phoned last evening, to let them know everything was fine, and that I was on my way out. I smiled as I heard Daniel’s voice in my head.
“Stay out of that drawer.”
Then, later, Armand’s voice.
“Be on your best behavior, or I will know.”
I rolled my eyes on the other end, made no promises, and sent my love.
“Hey, don’t forget my presents while you are there.”
I laughed at Benji, telling him I wouldn’t. One last hug, with him protesting, and I was off.
I had one last stop to make, before Bianca’s. I stepped out of the car, when it came to a stop. All was dark. I felt a welcome anyway. Slipping into Santiago’s home, I made my way up the stairs. This was not my normal habit in the night, to tread other parts of his house. If he was here…I listened for him, feeling him immediately. He was in his study. I made my way there.
I stood in the doorway, watching, as he looked over the sheet of paper in front him, before bending once more to write another line. My gaze slid to the candlestick.
“Don’t even think about it.”
“Have any spare rope?”
He set his pen down with a laugh, leaning back. He gave the appearance of any normal man at his leisure. Dangerous in his mimicking. I leaned against the doorway, looking at him.
“I’ve come to say goodbye for a time.”
He looked at me for a long moment, before he rose. The sudden gleam in his eyes made a shiver slide up my spine. He was in front of me in seconds. I straightened, realizing he had helped me to do so with his hand.
“You move fast,” I murmured in surprise.
He grinned at me, showing his teeth.
“You have no idea,” he said and leaned in to kiss me.
His hand slid up into my hair, cradling my head. My arms slipped around him and he pulled me closer with his free hand. It ran along my back, stopping just at my hips. With one last slide of his tongue against mine, he kissed my lips and looked at me. Our faces were barely separated. An evil grin came to his face.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have done this. You might not want to leave.”
I made a snorting sound, and he kissed me once more. When it ended, I looked at him. A smile came to my face this time.
“Hmm?” He looked at my lips.
“You cannot come to Germany with us.”
He looked at me chuckling then murmured something about the best way to shut me up. I laughed and pushed. He held me closer.
“They do say the third time…” he started, kissing me once more.
I hugged him close, as he hugged me, becoming bold in my knowing I would be leaving. With a sigh, I looked up at him finally.
“Goodbye for now.”
“Enjoy your trip.”
I nodded. He released me and I stood once more on my own. With a smile, I looked at him and then turned.
I turned, looking back at him.
“When you get back…”
I read his mind and chuckled.
“Incorrigible,” I laughed, while he grinned.
I blew him a kiss from my hand and left.
I smiled from the limo seat, gazing out at my city. I would miss roaming around here at night. My inner self looked forward to this time in Germany with Bianca. I very much needed this trip, and she knew it. She knew me very well. My thoughts touched on one other place we would see while there. With a sigh, I sank back, patiently waiting for the car to arrive at her home.
She met me at the door. With a smile and a hug, I entered. Her luggage sat in the entry way. I nodded to my man to grab them. Turning to Bianca, I grinned.
“Ready to go?”
She grinned at me right back.
November 6th, 2006
Click here, and gather your song. a present from me.http://s2.quicksharing.com/v/4667128/Distant.mp3.html
Now you may read, with the music. From the beginning darlings...“My Angel”
Fingers twirled. Became involved in the ivory. Stroked a sea of waving melody. Gently stepped into the world of known. Symbolized the peace within. I walked forward in mind, comforted by my surroundings. An echo beckoning my smile became known. Reverberated about.
“Come stay with me when you return. I will not take no for an answer.”
Fingers moved a little further. Joined into what was already being laid down. I felt the presence of two. My beloveds, come to comfort me. My eyes were closed. I was smiling back, and playing them from within.
I chuckled, not letting go of the tick tock tune, playing for me, what I felt. Benji’s smiling face looked at me from within. I was in his room, smiling at his imitation of The Procession Of The Magi painted along the wall. His art lessons showed, even though I knew to speak it would evoke his rebellion.
“Hello brother mine.”
“We will give him braids! Hahaha!”
I laughed and continued my play, as his voice faded into the voice heaven of what has been spoken before. To be reborn into another’s conversation. Yes, we will give him braids. And he will smile and dote on us, as never before, I answered the fading voice.
I could see his sideways grin. I felt the need to push back. I wonder where he has hidden that key.
“You really want to wash his smalls don’t you?”
I chuckled, feeling my arms wanting to cross, as they did then. A feeling of warmth invaded my cheeks. I played further, my fingers fighting to not stumble as I felt the lick on my face.
“By all means, play...”
My eyes slit open, just enough to watch his fingers so intricately follow the previously warmed keys that I had stroked.
My mind drifted back further…
My fingers kept up.
Picking up my phone at the apartment and dial the number. I look at the piece of paper in my hand, raising my brows slightly. I smile, as I think of the camping trip coming up.
"Hello, Julien? It's Sybelle..."
I tap the arm of the chair as we make our plans for the upcoming trip.
"All right darling. Yes, I have everything I need. Should I bring anything else? Alright then, I will see you there." A smile flits across my face, as I hang up the phone.
My reflections stroked the keys ever more.
“You know what I miss?”
“What do you miss?”
I lifted my lashes, looking into his eyes.
“I miss the heat of the sun on my face. I miss the warmth of it, of a nice blanket. I get so cold at times. I didn’t think I would miss the sun. I love the night. I love my immortality, but in the right moment, like now,”
I looked up at the sky.
“I miss the warming of it.”
I felt an answering warmth as another entered into my mind. Christmas, in New Orleans. Shared secrets in the night. Jokes played that made me laugh. Surrounded by family. Sneaking out late. Finding myself.
“Tell me of your early days Bianca, with your own words.”
“The angel and the lion, side by side, one cool and lean and collected, the other warm and tender, and in the beginning...shy. And yet...they fitted together.”
Who was this boy, with his gentle face not yet full of knowledge to come? Who was this man, with questions within his own eyes of what was to come?
“The past...is indeed the past. But it can so much influence us in the present.”
Bianca, …so wise. My sister. I felt her smile, even now.
“Let's take a trip. Just me and you."
I smiled. Yes, a trip…perfect.
“I have the perfect place…Berlin”
A shared smile.
Bianca and Sybelle, …two sisters, …one bond.
November 1st, 2006
I thought of him this night, playing my piano. My fingers nomadic over the keys, directed by my minds consideration. A sudden wistful refrain assaulted my ears. The tune of dreaming thoughts and what may be. Tell me of your heart, I demanded of myself. And as my fingers played, reverse and forth. I knew I had no answer it the way of things. I slid my fingers into another dance, shutting out such things for now. But no matter, my hands were free to roam. I never held such things from myself. Only in moments, so that I may feel the breath of space such a break gives to me. And in doing so, roaming free, they played for me a score of whimsical lulls.
Blackened night entered into my mind. Death by moonlight. Life by the touch.
Secrets in the mind of Sybelle.Come Play, said the spider to the fly...
October 6th, 2006
I watch you, sitting so close beside me. A play of words wind back and forth, as I decide that you will keep this night. My lust for your blood has cooled. With it, the bringing of my interest in much more. In the moves you make. The way your face looks at me, even now, as a jewel to behold. My mind the setting for its stone. I rise from the table, bidding you goodnight. You do not see me follow you home. How I watch, while you slide the key within the lock, before you enter your domain. I drift forward, a voyeur into your normal activities within. I wait for you to leave the room, before I step back, then continue on my way home. I pause beside my piano when I enter. Yes, I shall play this night. My mind settled, I play my beloved Beethoven.
The resonance of your thoughts drift to me, disrupting my peaceful play. It is a welcome disruption, as I would rather tend what you have in mind. My eyes close, fingers drifting over the piano, as shadows would, in their flee to escape the light. Play for you once more shall I? I need not ask, for I know your thoughts. Some of them before you do. My fingers drift, loosening the seams of your well stitched surface. Your underneath, shining back, the target for my minds eye this night. I hear you there, calling to me. Think you that shadows hold your thoughts away? The notes of your soul, spill upon the keys. Each one, teasing me to come play. My other hand pounds out the answering resistance. I shall not be tempted by you this night. Instead, I shall play for you our undoing. Leaving no mark upon us for this devilment together. While the air holds and releases us both into oblivion.